Can a friend / family member conduct our wedding ceremony?

The simple answer is yes*!! If you’d love your best friend, cousin, or sibling to lead your wedding ceremony, you absolutely can ask them.

But before you decide, it’s worth knowing what’s really involved. I often hear from people who’ve been asked to officiate a wedding and while they’re always honoured, many are surprised by how much more challenging it is than they expected.

I was recently contacted by someone who had attended a ceremony I had led – he had been asked to officiate for his sister-in-laws wedding and was after some guidance; I happily shared some hints and tips and he went off to get creating! A few weeks later, he emailed back: “I had no idea how hard this would be!” His experience got me thinking…

Lots of couples consider asking a loved one to officiate, so here are some myths and truths about DIY ceremonies — and how a celebrant can help.

Myth 1: anyone with a good speaking voice and confidence can officiate While having a pleasant speaking voice is certainly a plus, officiating a wedding ceremony requires more than just vocal charm. A skilled wedding celebrant is proficient in the various aspects of a ceremony; rituals, traditions and of how to use a couple’s story and desires to create their perfect ceremony. Crafting a personalised and meaningful ceremony takes careful planning and consideration, ensuring that the couple's personalities and values shine through.

✨ This is one of the parts of my job I love most - finding the words that capture who you are as a couple and bringing them to life in a way that feels completely “you.” Myth 2: officiating a wedding is a piece of cake It just reading aloud, right? WRONG - a successful wedding celebrant is an expert in ceremonial etiquette, the operations and logistics required for a seamless delivery and creating an atmosphere of authenticity. A celebrant invests time in getting to know the couple, fine-tuning the script, and practicing the delivery to ensure your ceremony hits all the right notes. They are also used to reacting to any given situation on the day – little things that could easily derail an amateur, but a professional celebrant will think on their feet and ensure nothing compromises your day (they will have nailed their ‘swan’).

✨ My couples often tell me that having me there meant they could just relax and enjoy the moment - knowing the ceremony was in safe hands.

Myth 3: it's all about reading a script Contrary to popular belief, officiating a wedding isn't just about reading a script. The vast majority of the work is done ahead of your wedding day. It is a craft; weaving a beautiful narrative that captures the essence of your love story. A skilled celebrant knows how to engage the audience, evoke emotions, and create a memorable experience for everyone present. This requires excellent public speaking skills, empathy, and the ability to adapt to the dynamics of the moment. Myth 4: you don't need a professional, friends can do it Take a moment to consider the responsibility that you are putting on a friend or family member in this situation. Having a loved one in this role might limit their ability to fully participate in and enjoy the celebration (it’s pretty stressful at times, especially as a first timer!). A skilled celebrant is neutral and can focus entirely on delivering a remarkable experience for you and your guests; they will bring their experience and expertise to ensure a flawless ceremony.

Truth 1: training and expertise matter Becoming a reputable wedding celebrant involves both training and experience. A good celebrant will have studied ceremonial traditions, creative writing, and communication techniques. This knowledge enables them to create a ceremony that resonates with a couple's vision. Always feel free to ask about the training, experience and skills of a celebrant before you book them. Truth 2: personalisation makes the difference One of the most significant advantages of booking a celebrant is the level of personalisation they bring to your ceremony. Celebrants take the time to understand a couple's unique journey, beliefs, values and personalities. This deep understanding enables them to craft a ceremony that reflects that couple's individuality and love story, making the moment truly unforgettable. Truth 3: lasting memories are priceless A skilled celebrant goes beyond reciting words; they create an experience that lingers in the hearts of the couple and their guests. A beautifully orchestrated ceremony has the power to evoke powerful emotions and leave a lasting impression. It sets the tone for the rest of your celebrations and marks the beginning of a new chapter.

So… Should a Friend or Family Member Officiate? While it's technically possible for anyone to officiate a wedding ceremony, there's a world of difference between someone who merely reads words and a professional celebrant who crafts a deeply personalised and emotionally resonant experience. From understanding ceremony etiquette to weaving a captivating narrative, the art of officiating a wedding requires a unique skill set that not everyone possesses. So, the next time you consider who should conduct your wedding ceremony, remember that investing in a skilled celebrant could be the key to creating a day you'll treasure forever.

If you’d like your best friend to play a role, that’s wonderful - I can help you include them in your ceremony in meaningful, creative ways without putting all the pressure on their shoulders.

✨ Want a ceremony that’s personal, fun, and stress-free? Let’s chat about how I can bring your ideas to life.

👉 Get in touch here to start planning your perfect ceremony.

*Your friend or family member cannot legally marry you here in England. The same is currently true for a celebrant-led ceremony and you would need to contact your local registrar to arrange signing the legal documentation.

Curious about what a celebrant-led wedding ceremony actually looks like? Read more about my wedding ceremonies here.